Are you a human? I assume you answered yes to that first question.
Let’s move on.
Do you have a skittish dog? Do you have a fearful dog? Do you have a nervous or anxious dog? Do you have an aggressive dog? Most aggression I come across (and I work more than any other person I know so I see a lot of dogs on a daily basis) is based in fear. The skittish dog or puppy lives with aggression and or phobias that it has grown into outrageously, ridiculous proportions and many times done so right under the loving and watchful eye of their owners! What can be done? Well, let’s look at what most people do…………………………………………..
Almost every person I’ve met attempts to “sell” their fearful dog confidence. THIS DOES NOT WORK. THIS WILL NEVER WORK. And the funny and tragic thing is, is that we start by feeling bad for the skittish dog and then giving it even more attention and all while the dog is acting in a fearful manner! Let’s take a deeper look at an all-too-common interaction.
THIS is YOU! Please don’t attempt to deny it. All people attempt to “sell” their dogs because they come at them from a human viewpoint. We seldom consider things from the dog’s point of view because we are not dogs…but it’s high time we started thinking like them and communicating in ways they understand!
You are walking down the sidewalk in your neighborhood and one of your neighbors approaches you with their new rescue dog. The dog is clearly skittish, nervous, fearful (however you want to describe it) and displays these phobias right away with poor posture, hiding, barking, sometimes even growling, lunging to snap, or lunging to get away from your touch. So what do you do?………….you go into human salesman mode and start speaking in a higher tone (like some weird, flighty child) and getting down (actually getting in the nervous dog’s space without giving it a second) directly looking at and giving lots of attention to the nervous animal (something all older calm and social dogs would never do) and sometimes you spread your arms out wide or offer the back of your stupid hand for the nervous dog to smell. You offer your hand not because it is wise but because that’s exactly what everyone does and that’s what you think works.
I ask you, Is that an accurate description of what you have done or most other folks you come across will attempt with a nervous dog? If you are honest you should be shouting a resounding, “YES!” at your computer or phone right now. Let’s continue…
(and before continuing this is a note to the more sensitive readers out there – Please understand it is my job {literally} to smash apart and dismantle many of the all-too-commonly accepted doggy beliefs (these pervasive and dangerous dog myths) that exist out there in order to raise awareness and consideration to how dog’s think and communicate. The dismantling process is bound to be unpleasant or uncomfortable for us as humans particularly because few things in this universe are as sensitive and large as the human ego) I have clearly and concisely done so in my HOT Listed book, Dog Myths: What you Believe about dogs can come back to BITE You!
I would highly, highly suggest picking up a copy (or two – they make great gifts for the dog-lovers in your life) of my book. Hundreds have already preordered it and several folks have already reported back how just after reading a few chapters, and applying the unique info they are seeing it work to calm and help their dogs! But let’s get back to this particular post…continuing…
Have you taken even one second to consider what an older, calmer dog would do in this situation?…..of course Not! Have you thought about what the mother or father dog would do if this was one of their puppies?……No way! You went right into relating to the dog backwards and you are totally wrong! Yes, I’m sorry to break it to you. And I know this might be an especially hard truth for you to face seeing as how you’re a “dog lover” but (in many cases) you just contributed to more fear and the further foolish human tradition of relating to the dog backwards and as an enabler of the dog or pup’s fears! You just added more fear to the situation! Let’s break this down nice and slow so our human brains can get it……………………………………………..
- You acknowledged fear and tried to comfort a fearful state of mind! That is something any animal in leadership would never, ever, ever do! In fact, the only time you should “acknowledge” fear is when the dog is using the fear to manipulate it into aggression. IF you have the know-how to acknowledge and intercept the dog’s fears then it is actually a direct confrontation you will be bringing in order to honestly, and adamantly disagree (while using expert timing) with the dog’s fearful/aggressive behavior at that exact moment in time…and it is never done to comfort or “sell” confidence to the dog.
2. By giving the skittish dog a lot of attention and your eye contact you are adding fear to the already fearful dog and you are inadvertently making the nervous animal the leader in the short exchange! If we look at it simply leaders are leaders because someone is watching them! This is why the father or mother dog would take the opportunity to ignore a nervous puppy, particularly when there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of.
3. In most interactions and meetings with a fearful dog the human salesman barges into it with what they think is a proven sales pitch. A pitch that is designed to sell confidence, calm nerves, and make quick friends….but it’s a pitch that never, ever lands the sale if it’s pitched to a truly skittish or fearful dog! You addressed the nervous puppy or dog by speaking. Speaking addresses the animal’s ears. And if you know even the first thing about dogs (sadly most people don’t because most trainers and behaviorist are uneducated themselves about the natural world) or how they communicate you would consider how their senses are developed and how the empirical, sensory world of the dog is a totally different experience from our own. I mean, basically, that hearing is one of the last and least important senses to a dog and to canine communication! But you just kept on with the attempted “comfort” and “kindness” all while never considering your audience.
4. For the love of God please don’t put your hand in the dog’s face. This to me is the epitome of misunderstanding our own dog’s language and a great example of human idiocy. It also screams of indecision (indecision that is physically displayed with this lame gesture) and Who is going to lead? I don’t know? Do I come half way? Do I go into the dog’s space with my outstretched hand? Do they come to me? Do they come halfway? If you’re asking these questions just forget all you’ve been taught and you may eventually be on the start to a more natural understanding of your dog’s language! Indecision let’s fear gain a manipulative foothold! And dog’s read body language better than any human on the planet since dogs have no written and very little “spoken” language.
This image is what NOT to do! Shocking to many, I know, but still a ridiculous gesture and one that can be snapped at! And…like we talked about…way too much attention if the dog is nervous!
If you’re looking for the right answers and what to do always ask yourself what would the mother or father dog do in this situation? This question will really help guide you through a plethora of different doggy interactions. Any other questions feel free to ask your own dog…he’ll answer if you are observant enough. Anything further that may need clarifying… ask me!
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-G
thecaninecalmer 